If there can not be met specific conditions for behavioral coaching
We've all experienced it once, but sometimes it is better that a coach refuses a coaching request, because one or more basic principles can not be fulfilled. Successful behavioral coaching would become impossible.
Also a coach learns from his mistakes:
- I once coached a manager who was forced to move into a coaching, as a sort of last chance. The person was suspicious, unmotivated and unwilling to change. Therefore it is important that we always get an answer to the following questions: whose coaching request is it initially? Is the person who will be coached really concerned and motivated to change his/her behavior? What has preceded this coaching and what has been achieved? Do not waste time as a company and as a coach to someone who doesn't want to be coached. On the other hand, the coaching may not be a planned way to say goodbye to someone. In other words, there must be a fair chance of success.
- Also defining the coaching domain and question can sometimes lead to dilemmas. Suppose you are asked to coach a person's behavior. It is important not to fall into technical, functional, strategic, organizational questions, unless these have an impact on behavior. There could be a chance that you will be working on issues that you do not know enough, or that you will end up in a tangle of several coaching questions. The message we want to share is that if a coach is asked to coach behavior of someone, then he/she needs to remain coaching that person's behavior at that moment, and nothing else.
- Another pitfall is to say yes to a coaching request to coach someone so that his/her (strategic) opinion would change 180°. In other words to let this person run in a different direction. That does not work. Certainly strong personalities do not always share the same opinions, even though these opinions come from their boss. These situations can not be resolved with coaching on personal behavior.